Best way to beat homesickness

Experienced Host Parents know that when your au pair arrives, you get him or her in action right away.

Even though it’s tempting to let him/her sleep in, or to show her around your wonderful town, or to wait until his English is better before you start giving instructions on ‘how to do things’, your best strategy is always to get them working.

We don’t want to get them to work right away so that we can maximize the amount of work we ‘get’ out of an au pair.

We put au pairs to work right away because:

• People learn better when they are trying.
• People are less homesick when they are busy. People get more connected to kids when they interact. And,
• People feel happier when they have something meaningful to do.

The sooner you get your au pair doing things you need her to do, even as she’s still learning, the better off you will be.

Thoughts from an Aupair and how it has shaped her life

Following are the thoughts of one of our aupairs. She was our aupair three years ago. I wanted to know how the aupair program has shaped the future of past aupairs so I posed the question to my past aupairs. Here are the thoughts from Sabrina from Germany:

"When I think back to the time I`ve been an Aupair, a lot of precious memories come to my mind. I remember meeting and living with the greatest and kindest host family I could have ever wished for and being with the two cutest and funniest two girls who soon would become like little sisters to me.

Together we`ve been creative, silly, explored places, shared new experiences and discovered interesting cultural differences. We`ve been to playgrounds, made up games, did handicrafts together and set up playdates.
Although time is running and it`s been three years since I´ve completed the Aupair Program, my host family and I are still in touch. We share photos and news and even visit one another once in a while. That`s how I get the opportunity to watch my two girls growing bigger and bigger.

I`ve also made friends all over the world: France, Brasil, Australia, Great Britian, the Netherlands and many more. With some of them I´m still in touch.

My american host family and my friends made it possible to live the american lifestyle. That`s for instance how I`ve got the chance to find out Thanksgiving and Halloween are the most exciting holidays I`ve ever experienced.

I got to travel all around the United States to see the most impressing sceneries and cities.
Without noticing, my English improved to its best and I´ve even had the opportunity to sneak into college life on my own.

I`d do it all over again and still think about my host family almost every day."

Tips on driving on snowy and icy roads

 Driving safely on icy roads

1. Decrease your speed and leave yourself plenty of room to stop. You should allow at least three times more space than usual between you and the car in front of you.
2. Brake gently to avoid skidding. If your wheels start to lock up, ease off the brake.
3. Turn on your lights to increase your visibility to other motorists.
4. Keep your lights and windshield clean.
5. Use low gears to keep traction, especially on hills.
6. Don't use cruise control or overdrive on icy roads.
7. Be especially careful on bridges, overpasses and infrequently traveled roads, which will freeze first. Even at temperatures above freezing, if the conditions are wet, you might encounter ice in shady areas or on exposed roadways like bridges.
8. Don't pass snow plows and sanding trucks. The drivers have limited visibility, and you're likely to find the road in front of them worse than the road behind.
9. Don't assume your vehicle can handle all conditions. Even four-wheel and front-wheel drive vehicles can encounter trouble on winter roads.  
10.  
11.  If your rear wheels skid...
    
    1. Take your foot off the accelerator.
    2. Steer in the direction you want the front wheels to go. If your rear wheels are sliding left, steer left. If they're sliding right, steer right.
    3. If your rear wheels start sliding the other way as you recover, ease the steering wheel toward that side. You might have to steer left and right a few times to get your vehicle completely under control.
    4. If you have standard brakes, pump them gently.
    5. If you have anti-lock brakes (ABS), do not pump the brakes. Apply steady pressure to the brakes. You will feel the brakes pulse — this is normal.
       
    If your front wheels skid...
    
12. Take your foot off the gas and shift to neutral, but don't try to steer immediately.
13. As the wheels skid sideways, they will slow the vehicle and traction will return. As it does, steer in the direction you want to go. Then put the transmission in "drive" or release the clutch, and accelerate gently.
    

If you get stuck...

1. Do not spin your wheels. This will only dig you in deeper.
2. Turn your wheels from side to side a few times to push snow out of the way.
3. Use a light touch on the gas, to ease your car out.
4. Use a shovel to clear snow away from the wheels and the underside of the car.
5. Pour sand, kitty litter, gravel or salt in the path of the wheels, to help get traction.
   

Try rocking the vehicle. (Check your owner's manual first — it can damage the transmission on some vehicles.) Shift from forward to reverse, and back again. Each time you're in gear, give a light touch on the gas until the vehicle moves.

Be patient the cold will end and Spring will come

This time of year is difficult for all of us, especially if you live in the Northern States where the cold seems to never end and I am sure in Atlanta and the Southern States that never see the white stuff! This has been a long and cold Winter and for some of our Warm weather Aupairs this is particularly difficult. So we as host parents need to be aware of our aupairs moods and understand that the weather may play a big role in their sadness, homesickness or otherwise moodiness. Often aupairs are not allowed to drive when it is snowing or icy outside (we should not be out either) so they may be feeling trapped in the house not being able to see their friends, or maybe the kids have had snow days that never seem to end. Be understanding of your aupair and talk with her/him about how they are feeling is very important. It will be warm again and then in Mid August when it is 100 F outside you will long for these cool days.

Au Pair Care Support

Au Pair Care wants to ensure that you and your au pair have the best experience possible during your program. That’s why you’ll receive support and advice from your local Area Director, who lives in your community and is a local resource to you.
Your Area Director will support you in the following ways:

• Meet with you during the in-home interview to provide you with helpful information about hosting an au pair
• Answer your questions before, during and after your au pair’s arrival
• Contact you within 48 hours of your au pair’s arrival to your home
• Conduct an arrival orientation with you and your au pair to ensure a smooth start to your program
• Maintain monthly contact with you and your au pair
• Provide your au pair with local information about educational and social opportunities
• Organize regular au pair activities and outings
• Host an annual event for host families in your community

 

When is it time to rematch? and is it necessary...

Even when we don’t have enough information about the ‘real’ problem with your au pair, the action steps are the same:

1. Check your expectations,
2. Talk candidly with each other, and
3. Give each other a chance to change.

1. Check your expectations.

Look back at the information you have about your au pair when you matched. Were you clear about what you needed? Did she mention she preferred older kids? Is there some information that you understand differently, now that she’s in your home? There may be some clues there.

Then, I’d suggest you contact your AreaDirector (That would be me, that is what I am here for!).  Describe the problem and ask for your area director’s advice and help. S/he may have intell and tactics that will help you craft your path.

2. Talk candidly with each other.

Do have a talk with your Au Pair about what kind of interaction you want her to have with your child. Ask her what her ideas are about what to do, and really talk to her.  You have to do this kind of difficult conversation anyway if you go into rematch, since it’s only fair to make a good faith effort… and in this case, you and she could really learn how to talk with each other, parent to au pair, and build skills for the long term.

3. Give each other a chance to change.

It’s important not to dive into a rematch without making a good faith effort to change, yourself, and without giving your au pair time to adjust her behavior. Do not throw in the towel too soon. Often times it is a communication issue and you need to give it time.

Only after you take these 3 steps should you move — emotionally and behaviorally– into rematch.

You’re unlikely to find a better au pair unless you analyze what you really want and what else and different you should look for.

AuPairCare Makes Parenthood Easier

When you become a parent, you become an expert juggler. Between work, household chores, and coordinating childcare, date nights or spending a relaxed day at the park with the kids start to feel like luxuries.
Thousands of families across the U.S. have found a solution through au pair childcare. Learn how hosting an au pair through AuPairCare has brought more flexibility and peace of mind to a few of our families’ lives.