10 Fears and Misconceptions about Hosting an Au Pair

You’ve seen one of our ads, you’ve talked to your friends or maybe you’ve gone so far as to apply to the program. But something is holding you back from moving forward with the au pair process. It’s easy for us to tell you all the great things about the program, we’ve got a story of a host family and au pair starting a business together, host families traveling to their au pair’s home country and tons of ultimate au pair stories. But what you want to know is what it’s really like to have an au pair. So below we’ve addressed some of the most common fears and misconceptions host families have about the au pair program!

10. Fear: The Au Pair Lives With Us?

This is a biggie – it is probably the number one concern friends and family who are unfamiliar with the program will bring up to you! The key is to get as familiar with the au pair as you can during the interview process, and there are plenty of tools to help with that. Between our interview guides and Match Experts, our goal is to facilitate successful matches. We encourage families to really get to know their au pair candidates. Multiple video interviews with prospective au pairs are mandatory and families can take as long as they need to make a selection. Ultimately we want you to feel the person coming to care for your kids is someone you can trust.

9. Misconception: Au Pairs Aren't Experienced.

Your kids are everything. Whether they are being perfect little angels (most of the time!) or complete terrors (once in a while), they’re yours and you don’t want any caregiver denying them compassion and respect. We think that the best way for au pairs to develop that skillset is with experience! That’s part of why you can see each au pair’s verified childcare experience hours on their au pair profile. If you choose an infant specialized au pair, know that they have specific experience with kids under two.

8. Fear: There’s Too Much Commitment With an Au Pair, Especially when Compared to Nannies and Daycare!

We’ve spent a lot of time comparing nannies, daycares and au pairs, in fact you can call us any time for our Ultimate Guide to Childcare. There are pros and cons to each option and maybe in some cases a nanny or daycare is best for your family. But we’re biased and we really feel that au pairs give you the best bang for your buck. When life happens - a work deadline is moved up or your spouse can’t pick up the kids, the flexibility of an au pair is unparalleled. And having a caregiver that is just focused on your kids means so much for their growth and development.

7. Misconception: If Things Don’t Work Out With My Au Pair, I Won't Have Options.

Not every placement is perfect. The goal is for everyone to have the ultimate au pair but we would be disingenuous to not acknowledge that sometimes things don’t work out. It can be as simple as a difference in personalities or a wave of au pair homesickness. Whatever the reason, we take placement transitions and rematch seriously - we want you to have the right au pair for your family. Before the program starts we outline everything in your childcare agreement; mediation options, timelines, costs for a match break and your options for finding a new au pair. Above all we do our best to support you and your au pair because ultimately we want you both to be in situations that are positive, safe, and happy.

6. Fear: My Kids Will Get Attached and Then My Au Pair Will Leave.

The length of an au pair year program varies. After the initial program year of 12 months, an au pair and host family can decide to extend for an additional 6, 9 or 12 months. The maximum time an au pair can stay in the US is 2 two years. Those goodbyes can be difficult – host families and au pairs really do grow to love one another, so our solution is not to sever that bond! We’ve heard stories of host families going to the weddings of their au pairs years after their program ended. Families and au pairs that get the most out of this program are those that committed to the spirit of cultural exchange.

5. Misconception: Having an Au Pair is Like Having Another Child.

Au pairs in the U.S. that are part of a Department of State regulated au pair agency will be between 18 and 26 years old. They’ll need a private bedroom in your home and you will set rules with them about curfews, use of the car and appropriate house rules. But remember, your au pair is also a secondary school graduate that is mature enough to make the decision to come to another country alone for a life changing experience. While they will definitely have a learning curve coming into your home, many host parents find au pairs to be like a younger sibling than another child.

4. Fear: An Au Pair Will Have Poor English Skills.

Certain au pairs will be stronger in English than others, but all au pairs speak the language conversationally. Most families see their au pairs improve their language exponentially in just the first month or so of being in the country. They’ll pick up nuances that aren’t always taught in school. Our Matching Expert can have an in depth conversation with you about which au pairs to interview that will meet your family’s needs. You can also ask for the The Parent’s Guide to Au Pair Countries of Origin, which will give you some pointers not only on the average English level of the au pair country of origin you’re looking for, but also the communication styles and driving abilities that will work best for your household.

3. Misconception: Au Pairs Just Want a Ticket to America.

Au pairs do want to be in America, they want exposure to our culture and to experience life in a new country. But the accepted applicants in our au pair pool have established lives in their home countries; families, friends and job opportunities to return to. We do everything we can to make sure that the au pairs in our pool are committed to being the best care givers they can be and are intent on returning home at the end of their program in accordance with Department of State Regulations.

2. Fear: My Kids Will Spend More Time With the Au Pair Than Me.

Working moms and dads are well aware of the necessary compromise that comes with being a parent and having a career. So when an au pair comes into the picture and spend the time we wish we had for our kids, it’s not uncommon to feel a twinge of jealousy. The key is to remember that au pairs can help free up some of your personal time. If she happens to be preparing the kids’ meals, or doing the kids’ laundry – you now have some time to read a story or play a game with your little ones. Au pairs can offer a balance you may never have considered.

1. Misconception: Au Pairs are for the Wealthy!

With the growing costs of raising a child, sometimes it feels like children are for the wealthy! In all seriousness child care costs can be very high, but live-in childcare can be an affordable option. The traditional au pair program costs $18,183 no matter how many children you have. Compare that to your local annual childcare costs and more often than not you’re looking at a bargain. Au pair care shouldn’t be considered cheap childcare, but rather an enriching cultural exchange program that benefits both the au pair and your children!