Teaching Kids to be a good Friend

Having good friends makes you happy and makes you feel good. Friendships are developed within families, in neighborhoods, in schools, on sports teams or the playground. Being a good friend is not a skill that kids just pick up, it is learned, taught and fostered. Developing friendships and keeping them takes a lot of work (both by parents and kids), but can be one of the most rewarding things to happen in a child’s life.

How can we teach kids about friendship?

Explain what good friends do and are

Good friends…

*     Remember important things  (birthdays, accomplishments, etc.)

·       Are reliable.

·       Do kind things for one another and use kind language.

·       Help out when a friend is sad or has a problem.

·       Like to spend time together.

·       Have fun with one another.

Lead by example

            *          When your friend calls pick up the phone don’t ignore it

            *          Don’t talk badly about your own friends behind their back

            *          Show your child how friendship works by helping your own friends, bringing them something when they are sick, pick them up if they are stranded, shoveling your elderly neighbors driveway, etc

            *          Talk about how your experiences with your friends when you were young, how you met, what you did, etc 

            * Spend time with friends and new people. You need to be around people to make friends, Sign up for a new art class, join a sports team, talk to the other kids and parents at the playground. Friends can be found in the least likely places. I found one of my best friends at my daughter’s ballet class. She was reading the New York Times while waiting for her child and I thought anyone that reads the NYT must be an interesting person, so we started a conversation and she is now one of dearest friends.